putsch: ([hyuuga] blood bath)
pel pel ([personal profile] putsch) wrote2014-05-14 10:33 pm

the end of an era

after 16 months, 10 different countries, more flights, apartments, homes, hostels, and adventures than I can shake a stick at, my southeast asia adventure is coming to an end tomorrow at 4PM when my flight out of new zealand takes off. it's so fucking weird. i'm looking at pictures of people back home and i can only think of how much i've changed, my world view and tastes have change and how everything back home is just... the same. it's not even a lot of stuff i like anymore which is the weirdest part. like how has this happened. why am i going back? i mean, that's the thing.

i'm not excited to head back home. i really, really don't care about anything in the states. sure i could probably find some decent work or do something, but now i'm still seriously considering moving to new zealand so i can work and get out of the english teaching circuit, or i could do it in portugal or thailand again or something. it wouldn't even be hard, and that's the craziest part. up and fucking off to a new place to settle for a while seems to be one of the things i'm best at.

i know i've got time to think about it - my brother graduates and that's a whole thing and then the next week i'm going to france for a week and a half. i can put it off until after that cause i know what i want to do, but my family wants me to stay, i've got some friends i'd like to catch up with, there are ideas i have about what to do, but that's just about it. i'd almost rather move out, meet some new people, do more crazy stuff. i just can't see myself working in an office on normal hours, simple life you know?? it doesn't feel right anymore.

i'm sure i'll figure it out, but at the same time, damn.

i just can't believe this is over. two and half months of the most fun traveling i've ever had and 14 months of learning, teaching and living across the earth? it's something else yo. i'm not even sure i can describe it, but it was honestly the greatest thing i've ever 100% done for myself.

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