Oct. 16th, 2012

welp.

Oct. 16th, 2012 11:56 pm
putsch: (Default)
lmfao okay so today was my first day at my unpaid internship at the UN, like, officially doing work and shit. cause yesterday was me just dealing with paperwork and being talked at and doing really a lot of nothing. so here's the breakdown:

•because of a bus schedule mess up and the trains i got there about half an hour late (930). the thing is, i thought i had to come in at 10 today until about 9pm last night, when my boss texted me the change. okay, great.

•finally get in, get my papers back to get my pass. she's like, go to the pass office then go to the conference building across the street and go to (hands me a list of meetings on paper) here, here, and here. and i'm just like wow, okay, can you give me a ride? because she and the other delegate were leave and she says "oh we're going to pick up an ambassador first."
and she just left.

•so i had to work with the secretary there to find out the address, find this hole in the wall office myself (i actually texted my boss to double check the address, and at first she was like "WHITE BUILDING!!", "ma'am i need an exact address." "oh yes it's ___"), get the pass myself, figure out where the delegate entrance was bc they didn't tell me that either (i tried again to text her and she just told me WHITE BUILDING ACROSS THE STREET in a block where ALL THE BUILDINGS ARE WHITE), i ended up wandering outside the UN plaza for 10 minutes before spotting these really obvious UN dudes and followed them inside and finally found the conference rooms on my own.

•it's not until after i get inside, find the big plenary conference room, and find the seat for armenia she comes and finds me, touching my shoulder and getting all in my face being like OH GOSH I'M SO GLAD YOU GOT HERE OKAY!! yeah you were a real fucking help with that one. i really liked doing the 10 block walk alone and then standing around like an idiot trying to find things.

•so then she just leaves not long after, and i swear to god the guys from australia and argentina sitting next to me must've thought i was the biggest goddamn retard bc i had no idea how to work the headphones with the translators speaking and i clearly had no idea what i was doing there at all. woops.

•sat in on three informal meetings and the first one i nearly fell asleep in multiple times because a)so tired from the commute and generally not sleeping ever and b)everyone in the un talks so fucking quietly like. this is a regular classroom sized room with 30 people and you're basically fucking whispering whAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

•also thank god i packed my own lunch because lmfao un food is disgusting. the apple turnover lena bought me at lunch was so gross i can't even imagine the other stuff there.

•the only reason i had a good snack was because the mission of the NETHERLANDS, OF ALL HILARIOUS KARMA PLACES, had out a table of free food like mini sandwiches and cookies and fruit and salad and i just could not stop my internal laughter bc like
even after my study abroad only the netherlands cares about me eating.

•basically informal meetings are literally the most informal things. countries present resolutions they want to pass to other member states and get their input, show off new changes and get ideas, all that jazz, but the most amazing thing is that people leave their phone ringers on, text, answer calls, go in and out at will, hell they even talk to each other through the fucking meeting AND THIS IS WHILE THE SPEAKER IS DOING THEIR BULLSHIT WHISPER SO YOU LITERALLY CAN'T HEAR SHIT? my entire job is taking notes so kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP.
•not to mention people on their laptops or ipads just checking facebook or dicking around not paying attention at all and im like
wtf is even happening i was so worried about seeming professional and really NO ONE GIVES A SHIT LMFAO.....

•it is so obvious who is a high ranking, paid official and who is the bum college child so desperate for work that they are stuck at the un. the officials are in nice suits, all talking to each other and laughing and joking with one another, and the students are in anything from casual to business professional (apparently the un really don't give a shit about dress code) and have the same dead ass look in their eyes. also none of us ever speak in any meetings it's just diplomats we're literally there just to help them collect paperwork and take notes on meeting procedures it's such bullshit anyway.

•everyone speaks the ""language"" of the un which basically means how obnoxious and formal can we sound so we don't step on anyone's toes! this leads to the great un drinking game i just came up with:
STEP 1: anytime someone says "the language of the resolution", "thank you for presenting this", "the delegation (insert country here)", and my favorite "i have to get orders from capital".
STEP 2: die within 2 hours.


•oh and while plenary had an interesting moment of palestine ripping israel a new one (saying their illegal occupation of territories is ruining any chance at substantial women's rights gains because you know THEY'RE KILLING THEM OR THROWING THEM IN PRISON) and a few other countries agreeing with them, the informals had none. some discussions went around but mostly people were arguing over wordings, having certain reforms mentioned in the resolutions at all, and it was really all so fucking petty.

•also in the middle of the day i had this huge break so i walked back to the mission which was a fucking stupid idea because my legs are killing me
•on the plus side, me and the secretary girl got to spend a lot of time making coffee, joking about me living in the basement of the mission, and her telling me to steal the mission's wine and get drunk on the job. i mean. what are they going to do dock my pay?

so what i'm trying to say is:
despite wanting to work as an international official as a kid so i could do good and travel the world, my dreams have been promptly shattered by seeing the inside of the un today. basically, if you're not an ambassador or big time official from on high you're nothing, the job can be interesting but overall I'm working long hours, have a long commute, and i'm not getting paid a dime. really it's work anyone could do, but they just love using their name to get suckers like me to do it for them. so yeah.

sorry to ruin anyone's un dreams.

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